“…it is a monstrous thing, to slay a unicorn. Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenseless to save yourself, and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips.” Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone
I find it very interesting that as a result of the journey I am on, I now see or hear things differently or they hold new meaning from the first time I experienced them. These different meanings could be biased, seeing proof where no proof exists or adding meaning where the author was not intending any. I think they call it “evidence of absence” or “Denotation and Connotation” but I am not sure as they both are close.
I was having coffee with a friend and we were discussing literature, J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter came up briefly. My mind went to this scene and I quickly saw the connection between the Unicorn and our “Essence”. To me essence is what we were born with. It was our very first breathe of life in the physical world; happiness, joy, love and who we truly were meant to be, so it’s our Unicorn. Soon after, we start to develop ego and personality (Unicorn Blood). This blood is needed to sustain the Unicorn however when we remove the blood (ego and personality) and drink it, we change what it (ego and personality) was intended to do for us. To get love, acceptance and affection from all those around us, we drink up the ego and personality to get what we need, someone else’s love and attention. So in my thoughts, we start to slay our Unicorn, or at least drink its blood. As I adopted ego and personality I was led to believe I should subconsciously change who I was.
This started my process to living a “half life, a cursed life” as I drank the ego and personality of the Unicorn. I felt I did not belong in this life and that I was not understood or I did not understand others. I know now this is because I was not being true to my essence. I would find ways to numb my emotions of not being true to me. I turned to living in the shadows of an addiction; I pulled my self away from addiction through recovery in a 12 step program which granted me about 5 years of mental solitude. The emotional struggles soon came back and I started to look for ways to be accepted by others as I still was not aware the only acceptance I really needed was my own. Those actions would be short lived always bringing me back to me and how unhappy I was with my situations or me. A quote “Where ever you go there you are” by Confucius comes to mind.
This leads me to “only someone who has nothing to lose and everything to gain would commit such a crime”. All those years I was accepting personality and ego, the world and society I believed was telling me that more was better, emotions were to be hidden, life was go go go. I felt I was wrong for feeling the way I was feeling, that something was wrong with me, so I drank the Unicorn blood. Actually, I stopped believing in Unicorns all together. That is until now…
Please note: my belief is that we can never really kill our Unicorn, we can only sap its strength. Once we start feeding our Unicorn again, we will grow to the powerful, beautiful being we were designed to be.
Keep chasing those cars
With Love, respect and admiration.